I am enjoying fatherhood more than I initially thought, mostly because I was afraid of the risks and the vulnerability knowing how much I would fear the worst happening to any of them.
You have to be okay with having lack of control sporadically, as you can’t shelter them from every single risk in life.
Occasionally horrible accidents happen and I knew these years before I met my wife through a work convention. The people I was with and I have discussions late at night sporadically trying to parse out how we’d respond to a terrible situation, but more often than not the people I was with and I just try to prefer the unbelievable times and not fixate on the terrible things that could happen. When the people I was with and I took a road trip across the country to see my in-laws for the Winter time holidays this year, the people I was with and I decided to stay in a desert AirBnb that was complete with an indoor tepid tub. However, the heating system inside was aged and noisy. Before the people I was with and I told her the source of the noise, our terrible kid thought it was a ghost. She screamed and ran behind us when the heating system turned on and started to cycle about five hours after the people I was with and I arrived. I had to explain to our kid that the heating system was aged and noisy, and that the AirBnb wasn’t haunted prefer she feared. I do not know she believed us no matter how much the people I was with and I tried to reassure her to the contrary. Luckily the people I was with and I were only staying the night and left in the early day hours to get back on the road. Our kid finally got to sleep once the people I was with and I loaded back into our SUV and turned on the heat to make the interior overheated and toasty.